A wedding is scheduled for 2:30 so you do the right thing and arrive at 2:15. Only then are you informed that there is a delay and the nuptials will not be performed until 5:00 "or so." Turns out the officiant can't make it any earlier. Since you know for fact this isn't a real ceremony (the bride's divorce papers haven't arrived on time) you get a bit miffed knowing this little detail doesn't really matter.
Worse, there's clearly a hierarchy of guests: those who got a phone call notifying them of the change and those who did not. As there are very few people there, you are clearly in the latter category. What to do? What to do?
Well, fear not. We got ourselves some beer and waited. And drank and waited and drank some more.
They finally arrived and got pretend married. Party to follow ceremony included plenty of fried chicken and karaoke. Still steamed by my wasted time and the perceived slight, the couple found themselves out on the floor for their first dance to my sister and I belting out AC/DC's Big Balls.
AC/DC
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (1981)
Big Balls
I'm Ever Upper Class High Society
God's Gift To Ballroom Notoriety
I Always Fill My Ballroom
The Event Is Never Small
The Social Pages Say I've Got
The Biggest Balls Of All
CHORUS:
I've Got Big Balls
I've Got Big Balls
And They're Such Big Balls
Dirty Big Balls
And He's Got Big Balls
And She's Got Big Balls
But We've Got The Biggest Balls Of Them All
And My Balls Are Always Bouncing
My Ballroom Always Full
And Everybody Cums And Cums Again
If Your Name Is On The Guest List
No One Can Take You Higher
Everybody Says I've Got
Great Balls Of Fire
CHORUS
Some Balls Are Held For Charity
And Some For Fancy Dress
But When They're Held For Pleasure
They're The Balls That I Like Best
My Balls Are Always Bouncing
To The Left And To The Right
It's My Belief That My Big Balls
Should Be Held Every Night
CHORUS
And I'm Just Itching To Tell You About Them
Oh We Had Such Wonderful Fun
Seafood Cocktail, Crabs, Crayfish...
Ball Sucker
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