Purged by Sparticle

Stymied

From a student paper:

"If logos were used more by Al-Jazeera, he may have had a more effective argument."

Let's hope Al doesn't issue a Fatwa.

Reality Check

My favorite student's current case:

Count No.	Statute	Description	Severity	Disposition
1	940.235(1)	Strangulation and Suffocation	Felony H
2	940.19(1)	Battery	Misd. A
3	940.45(1)	Intimidate Victim/Use or Attempt Force	Felony G
4	940.19(1)	Battery	Misd. A
5	948.02(1)(e)	1st Degree Child Sex Assault - Sexual Contact with Person under Age of 13	Felony B
6	948.02(1)(e)	1st Degree Child Sex Assault - Sexual Contact with Person under Age of 13	Felony B

The Cream of SheVegas (for a grandma, anyway)

http://shevegas.com/a-bug-a-river-and-some-rain/

My Hero

"I need a mask, Sparky."

"I don't have one."

"What about this?"

"If you insist."

At least I know better than to make him a "BM" cape.

That's a lot of green even for organic

In these tought times, it makes sense to grow your own. I'm just not sure how we can afford it.

The 211

As a responsible citizen, it is my duty not to leave the house if I have even the symptoms of swine flu. At least, not leave the house for work. So I called 211 because the CDC's site did not make it clear whether or not you have to have all the symptoms or just some of them.

My operator, Janet, was pleasant enough. I asked my question, she said she could put me in touch with someone who could answer my question, came back on the line, and I heard her talking to herself:

type, type, type"let's see. No. Hmmmm. Let me try. No. I guess it's S-W-I. Okay, I can give you the number for your local health department. Hmmmm. What's your zip code? Just a minute."

While waiting, I google the number and jot it down.

Janet comes back with "I can give you the number for Aurora Medical Center. 288-2000. But before you go, I need to ask you for some information. Good, this is where my tax dollars will be well placed. She is going to ask me for my symptoms, travel patterns, and personal information before entering it into a database. Then it would just be a matter of time before they ran the alogorhythm and called me back to let me know when to quarantine myself.

But all she wanted to know was "where did you hear about us?" And all I got by dialing 288-2000? "We're sorry, the number you dialed is no longer in service."

I'd be less paranoid if we weren't so close to the epicenter.

Frost/Nixon/Yes Man

With a very low turn out for class and a promo poster so near, who wouldn't be tempted to send their students down to the movie lounge for a little Frost/Nixon? The poster for the following week's offering of Yes Man hung right next to it. And although I had never even seen a preview of Yes Man, I knew the premise was all about being open to new experiences. So it's like I had to. In my defense, I did tell students they could write their comparison essays about the flick.

Sure, I liked it and figured anyone could get a few pages out of the contrasts between the president and host. But during the brief discussion afterward, it became quite clear that my students didn't really get much out of it. "I wondered why they called that thing with Clinton 'Monica-Gate." Since they had never heard of Watergate, it can be safely assumed they missed the Checkers joke completely.

The next night I found myself at a stranger's airplane hanger and later driving the  back home alone in a '77 Pontiac Sunbird. Squishy brakes, no tail lights, and just the red glow of the check engine light to guide me the seventy miles. All because I had seen the poster for Yes Man. I had agreed to do this only if I would be allowed to smoke in the bird on the way home. I knew it would be a long stressful drive. Worst case scenario: I was too stressed to smoke.

The following week, the other half of the class showed up. At first I thought "how can I justify another visit to the movie lounge?" Mind you, this class meets just once a week. But then I remembered Yes Man was about to start on a continuous reel. The answer to the could I really get away with this two weeks in a row issue was a clear yes.

Having now actually seen the film, don't call me to go pick up a car or eat something weird. I don't have to. But I've since gotten Daisy to watch it and she subsequently agreed to go with me on a bus trip to see The Counting Crowes. So watch it at least once.

Nothing Personal, Site Admin.

Sure, I've accepted the fact that I can't use the same password (1111) for everything. But what I can't handle are the change your password every three months using a combination of a minimum of six letters and numbers that you have never used before type places.

 I hope to never call any of you to retrieve 'fuckyou2."